How to Stay Grounded in “Crisis Mode”

Our nervous system is wired to help us get through threatening situations by activating survival strategies. You’re probably pretty familiar by now with the phrase “fight or flight”, which refers to our body’s ability to trigger hormones and behavioral responses when distressed. 

We can tell a “fight” response by the presence of anger, frustration, rage, or a sense of injustice, where our inhibitions are lowered, our heart rate is elevated, and we tend to speak in a louder tone of voice and posture/position ourselves in a way that increases our size. 

We can also react with physical aggression or defense when the fight response is activated, as this is one of the dominant ways that animals (humans included) protect themselves when endangered. The “flight response” can be seen when we notice feelings of fear or wanting to avoid something, an elevated heart rate and shortness of breath might be present, and we get a strong urge to run away and escape. 

Exactly how many survival responses there are is up for debate, but professionals commonly agree to the presence of a “freeze” and “submit” response as well (you can find more information about survival strategies here: https://www.simplypsychology.org/fight-flight-freeze-fawn.html

Sometimes these survival strategies activate when its not necessary or helpful, such as feeling an intense urge to escape when taking a stressful exam, or wanting to pull over and confront someone who cut you off in traffic. In these situations, it is important to know how to remind our nervous systems that we don’t need to run or fight in these situations in order to survive the moment. We can do this through grounding. Grounding refers to increasing our connection to the present moment, and to our surroundings so we can better assess what actual threats are present and what resources we have at our disposal. 

There are three key elements to grounding to make it effective in helping us focus on the actions we want to take vs. what our nervous systems want us to do:

1. Awareness: We need to know what is currently happening to us on the inside in order to respond effectively to it. We can do this by noticing what we are thinking or feeling. Intentionally using the phrase “I am having a feeling of____________, or I am having a thought about_____________, or I am having the urge to______________” can help us focus on what is going on and name the problem. This is an important step so that we can learn how our bodies and minds respond to triggers in our environment and act more effectively. 
2. Connection: We need to establish connection to our bodies to regain control over our actions. If we don’t have control over what we are doing or saying, we are letting our survival strategies dictate how we move through the world and how we show up for ourselves and others, which can often lead to bigger and bigger problems (i.e. responding to stress through substance use, avoiding work, yelling at loved ones). To establish connection we can pick a movement, such as opening and closing your hands, tapping your leg, stretching, etc. It isn’t important which movement you chose to do, but what is important is the conscious effort you are using to make that movement. Not tapping your leg mindlessly, but intentionally moving it up and down in full control of what is happening. In this way we show our bodies and our minds that we are in control of our actions, making it easier to pick how we want to react, vs letting our survival strategies do it for us. 
3. Engagement: In order to fully assess the safety of a situation, the actual threats in our environment, and the resources we have to solve problems, we need to be in touch with our surroundings. Our survival strategies often narrow our focus down to a small detail that it finds threatening, which is really helpful when we truly do need to run or defend ourselves! But by widening our focus, we can better understand what is happening and how we can take the best action. Start by noticing 5 things you can see, then notice 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel (tactile sensation), 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. In this way, you will have engaged with many more elements of your current surroundings and should know much better about the actual threats present if any, and the resources you have available to better respond to the situation. 

By implementing these three elements, you can make sure your grounding techniques are effective. There are many ways you can go about grounding yourself, using mindful breathing, taking a walk, talking with others, meditating; all of these are helpful so long as they include the elements above. Crisis mode is never comfortable, and it can be hard to apply these strategies regularly each time. At its worst, crisis mode can lead us to make choices and take actions that we regret, developing bad habits and patterns that only make things more difficult. With patience and practice you can learn how to better respond to your surroundings and stay connected to the actions you truly want to take when your survival strategies are activated.